Category: Personal Projects

On Restaurants

I’ve been cooking on my own for the past couple years, and I can honestly say that I’ve gotten the hang of a lot of it. I know how to do some things really well, and I’m getting pretty quick about putting my dishes together, so that my average meal, with an entree and two side dishes, takes between 10-30 minutes from start to finish to prepare.

For the past few weeks I’ve kicked it up a notch: I’m taking photos of everything I make. The original intent was so that I could start working on a personal cookbook release, but almost instantly I realized another benefit. Because I want these pictures to look good, I’m really focusing on my presentation. Presentation is a huge part of a good meal, and it can transform a mediocre one into a spectacular one. I’m collecting a sizable folder of photos of my dishes, and I have to say that looking at them I’m a little proud.

My cooking has changed how I order food in restaurants. As a general rule, I don’t order anything that I can make at home. If I’m eating out, the last thing I want to do is spend three times as much money to get a meal I can just as easily prepare in my own kitchen. It won’t teach me more, and it’ll taste just as good. This means most pasta is out, steak is definitely not worth it, a lot of stir fries, chicken, and pan-fried fish. This rule is actually pretty convenient, as it eliminates a decent amount of the menu from my consideration, giving me time to focus on the more interesting dishes. Two of the things I look for are techniques that I don’t know or that would take a long time to cook (like lasagna or quiche, which take a long time to prepare and bake), and ingredients that are exotic or to which I have limited access (like some kinds of seafood or fruits). This way I’m guaranteed to get something I probably won’t be making at home, so it’ll be new and interesting to me, which is why I go out.

The other thing I do at restaurants is look at the presentation of the dish. They always clean the edge of the plate. There’s often parsley flakes sprinkled on top to give the dish flecks of color. The fancier the restaurant, the more vertical the food will get. So if you’re going to Denny’s, you’ll have a plate with meat and mashed potatoes next to it and corn next to that, and the whole plate will be covered with some kind of food. If you’re at a fancy restaurant, you’ll have a wide plate, but the food itself will cover a smaller area and be stacked, so the meat would be on top of the asparagus on top of the mashed potatoes. Then some kind of sauce is artfully painted around the unused portion of the plate. And the plate is always wiped clean after the food has been placed on it.

A successful restaurant venture leaves my stomach happy, my tongue intrigued, and my brain full of good ideas to try.

I created a monster

Necessity is the mother of invention, and I was in serious need of food. My problem, though, was that I had hot dog buns but no hot dogs, and hamburger but no hamburger buns. May god have mercy on my soul for what transpired in my kitchen today at lunch, for what I bred was neither encased hot dog, nor round hamburger, but instead a beast of a meal fit only for the likes of those willing enough to put their life on the line in pursuit of the perfect meal.

Today I made the hamburger dog. Instead of making round hamburger patties I carefully fashioned crude oblong patties, holding a hot dog bun beside them to make sure they were of an appropriate size. They were as thick as a normal hamburger, 1/2 inch of pure beefy goodness, but as long as the bun. My George Foreman steamed and sizzled as it struggled to cook the strange shaped patties. At once, I smelled the burning flesh and knew that it was done. The socket sparked as I unplugged the grill. I had prepared my bun in the manner of a typical hamburger: sliced tomato, sweet relish, ketchup, and mustard. Once I placed the finished patties on the buns, my creation was complete.

If you have not yet recoiled in shock and awe, then the completion of my tale should not disturb you further. After I had built these monsters (there was a pair of them because I was hungry, remember), I poured a glass of cold tea, sat down, lifted one of them, and took a bite. What followed thereafter is hazy in my mind. When I came to my senses my plate was empty, my stomach full, and my napkin messy. I can only assume that I devoured them both in a frenzy, leaving nothing but a few flecks of relish on the plate.

Thank you, dear reader, for stomaching this entry as heartily as I stomached the monsters I made for lunch. If you have the inclination, the fortitude, and the equipment, I highly recommend making the bastard child of barbecues; the hamburger dog.

Meringues

Meringues are hard but really soft cookies, like solidified marshmallows. The most appealing part of them is the texture. They only require 4 ingredients that you probably already have.

  • 4 egg whites (WHITES ONLY. ANY yolk will prevent the whites from whipping. Be very careful)
  • pinch of salt
  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/2 cup powdered sugar

In a large bowl, beat the egg whites and a pinch of salt until they are stiff. Very stiff. There is a remarkable transformation you’ll see when they turn frothy and then get harder and harder. This will take a few minutes of strong beating.

Beat in the granulated sugar, then sprinkle in the powdered sugar a little at a time. Keep beating until you get thick, white, foamy peaks. The more foamy the better. If you can take a teaspoon full and drop it on the counter and it doesn’t spread much but instead stays pretty tall, then you’re good.

Pour tablespoon full amounts onto a baking sheet. Try to drizzle them onto the sheet so that you get maximum height.

Bake in the oven at 250F for 1 1/2 hours. They’ll look slightly darker than when they started and will be very hard. Let them cool, then take them off the pan.

 

French Bread

  • 6 cups all-purpose flour
  • 2 1/2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast (or 5 1/2 tsp)
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 2 cups warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
  • 1 tablespoon cornmeal
  • 1 egg white
  • 1 tablespoon water

In a large bowl, combine 2 cups flour, yeast and salt. Stir in 2 cups warm water, and beat until well blended using a stand mixer with a dough hook attachment. Using a wooden spoon, stir in as much of the remaining flour as you can.

On a lightly floured surface, knead in enough flour to make a stiff dough that is smooth and elastic. Knead for about 8 to 10 minutes total. Shape into a ball. Place dough in a greased bowl, and turn once. Cover, and let rise in a warm place until doubled. Punch dough down, and divide in half. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Cover, and let rest for 10 minutes. Roll each half into large rectangle. Roll up, starting from a long side. Moisten edge with water and seal. Taper ends.

Grease a large baking sheet. Sprinkle with cornmeal. Place loaves, seam side down, on the prepared baking sheet. Lightly beat the egg white with 1 tablespoon of water, and brush on. Cover with a damp cloth. Let rise until nearly doubled, 35 to 40 minutes.

With the knife, make 3 or 4 diagonal cuts about 1/4 inch deep across top of each loaf. Bake in a preheated 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) oven for 20 minutes. Brush again with egg white mixture. Bake for an additional 15 to 20 minutes, or until bread tests done. You’ll know it’s done if you whack it lightly and it sounds hollow. Remove from baking sheet, and cool on a wire rack.

I made bread today!

Not the money kind, though that would have been satisfying, too. Today I made real French bread. It came out great. It’s my first time with bread (other than pizza dough), so I was really worried about it. In the end, I had some good loaves; slightly crunchy on the outside, fluffy on the inside. It’s probably 10 times better making my own bread just because I made it. No, it doesn’t taste as good as if I had bought a loaf at the grocery store, but I made it myself, and it was my first time, and if you have a problem with it, try making your own bread and see how you like it.

Better cooking

Some people have asked why I was cooking shirtless in the first place. Why not? Really, though, it was because I had just gotten back from racquetball, then showered, and I knew I wasn’t going out later, so I just put on pajama bottoms.

Tonight’s cooking was a lot better. I had some fun with a seafood stir fry. It took forever to peel the shrimp, but it was so worth it. I had shrimp, crab meat, water chestnuts, and pineapple stir fried with a little hot sauce and some sweet chili sauce. I also put in some rice vermicelli (thin rice noodles). I had my shirt on, and it was delicious.

Popcorn

  • A couple tablespoons of vegetable or corn oil
  • A couple handfuls of popcorn

Heat up a fairly large pan on medium high heat with enough oil to cover the bottom of the pan. Put in a couple handfuls of popcorn (a handful is about 1/4 cup-1/3 cup). Stir until it stops popping. Hold the lid over the pan to keep kernels from flying out. If the pan fills before all the popcorn is done popping, remove from heat, shake some of the popcorn off the top into a large bowl, and return to heat. If you can smell burning popcorn, take it off the heat and shake it into the bowl. It’s ok to have some kernels left. They won’t pop, and the rest will burn.

If you want, melt a couple tablespoons of butter in the microwave and drizzle it over the top of the finished popcorn. Shake some salt and/or pepper over the top. Lawry’s seasoning salt is good, too. Mix with your hands.

 

Fudge

This is my favorite fudge recipe. I modify it all the time for different flavors (sometimes I use white chocolate, sometimes I don’t put in nuts, sometimes I mix half regular and half mint chocolate chips, sometimes I put in a few drops of peppermint extract). 

  • Prepare the following ingredients. You will want to have them readily on hand for later.
    • 20 marshmallows
    • 1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
    • 1 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (or use 1/2 cup chocolate chips and 1 cup mint chocolate chips)
    • 1 tsp. vanilla.
  • Combine together. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Boil for 5 minutes stirring constantly. Then remove from heat.
    • 1 3/4 cup Granulated sugar
    • 2/3 cup evaporated milk (shake the can a lot before opening it.
    • 2 tbsp butter
    • 1/8 tsp salt
  • IMMEDIATELY after removing from heat, add the chocolate chips, marshmallows, and vanilla. Stir like a madman until it’s all melted. We’re relying on the heat of the sugar milk mixture to melt everything, so you have to add the ingredients immediately after removing from heat. The marshmallows will take the longest to melt in. Then add the nuts and stir.
  • Spread into buttered 9x9x2” pan. Chill until firm. You can put it in a fridge for a few hours or overnight, or in a freezer for 1/2 to 1 hour. I also like to put either plastic wrap or wax paper in the pan so that it’s really easy to pull the block of fudge out.

Learning from food while learning about food.

Today was a good day. I woke up early and went skiing. It the last day at Bluewood, and there were lots of people there. The skiing was decent, but not perfect. It got a little warm and the sun melted a lot of snow, making it really heavy. We would hit a sunny patch and slow down to the point of almost falling over. In all, though, we had lots of good runs; flying through the trees, going over jumps, speeding down racing hills. It was great.

After I got home, my fridge looked a little empty. I was able to pull together enough ingredients for a pizza, and it turned out fantastic. I used alfredo sauce on half, marinara on the other half, chicken pieces, and sliced portobello mushrooms (why, you ask, do I have portobello mushrooms when I claim to have an empty refrigerator? *shrug*). As for cheese, all I had was a bit of moldy cheddar, but I cut off the mold and was able to spread the rest out over the pizza. I enjoyed my pizza with a good Chateau St. Michelle Riesling.

I have been avoiding the part of my story that is relevant to the title, though. It happened when I was spreading the dough. I got a pan, lined it with oregano infused olive oil, and began spreading the dough into the pan. I spent far longer than I should have trying to spread it out over the whole space. I kept spreading it too thin, and it would develop holes in the middle. I’d pinch it back together, but the dough just wasn’t enough for the pan. Eventually, I realized that it was arbitrary that the dough should fit the pan. It didn’t have to. I just needed to have some dough in the pan spread out enough for me to put on ingredients. Then I thought about how I’m spreading myself so thin just so that I can fill every hour of the day with an activity. It’s not right. There’s not enough of me. I should fill enough of my life to make me happy and make the filled part better quality.