ow ow ow – different reason this time

It seems an unusual proportion of my entries describe the various pains I am experiencing. From getting beat up at racquetball to hard landings skydiving, I have a knack for putting myself in situations that result in my body expressing great dissatisfaction. Yesterday I did it again.

My friend Joe has a sailboat, and yesterday he threw a bit of a party on it. There were 7 of us: me, Joe (owner of the boat and works at the lab), Jeff (who is also on my softball team and works at the lab), Ben (works at the lab, too), Carolyn (good friend who works at the lab with Ben, Jeff, Joe, and Cassandra), Cassandra (intern at the lab for 10 weeks), and Ben’s friend’s cousin Emma, a Swedish girl spending some time here. We had a bit of trouble getting the boat out of harbor because there was no wind, but eventually we pushed ourselves off of other boats long enough to get onto the lake. There we ate and drank and told jokes and jumped in the water and swam and in general had a good time. Later the wind picked up and we were actually able to sail some, getting up to a pretty good clip.

In all, it was a lot of fun. I learned a bit about sailing: it’s not nearly as hard as you’d think. But the brain cells I dedicated to the art of sailing may have prevented other brain cells from the art of instinct, because I am now paying for something I should have done but didn’t.

Now I was responsible enough to put on sunscreen. I got my arms, my legs, and even behind my neck. I’m not sure why I didn’t do my face, though. For the next few days I will be the very model of solemnity because moving my face hurts too much to be anything else. The other stupid thing I did was put my sunscreen on while I had my shirt on, then go out on the boat and take my shirt off to swim. Now I’ve got three distinct colors on my arms. Most of my arm, up to a little above the elbow is a satisfying tan. From there it tapers off to white, where I managed to put on sunscreen while my shirt was on. A few inches after that, it fades into a bright salmon color (guys don’t turn pink, they turn salmon).

So right now I’m sitting shirtless, applying lotion every once in a while, mostly mad at myself for not doing what I knew I should have and wondering if I’ll get skin cancer now.

I do have a meeting at work tomorrow, but frankly I much prefer being shirtless, so I think I’ll work from home and just go to work for the one meeting.

On Restaurants

I’ve been cooking on my own for the past couple years, and I can honestly say that I’ve gotten the hang of a lot of it. I know how to do some things really well, and I’m getting pretty quick about putting my dishes together, so that my average meal, with an entree and two side dishes, takes between 10-30 minutes from start to finish to prepare.

For the past few weeks I’ve kicked it up a notch: I’m taking photos of everything I make. The original intent was so that I could start working on a personal cookbook release, but almost instantly I realized another benefit. Because I want these pictures to look good, I’m really focusing on my presentation. Presentation is a huge part of a good meal, and it can transform a mediocre one into a spectacular one. I’m collecting a sizable folder of photos of my dishes, and I have to say that looking at them I’m a little proud.

My cooking has changed how I order food in restaurants. As a general rule, I don’t order anything that I can make at home. If I’m eating out, the last thing I want to do is spend three times as much money to get a meal I can just as easily prepare in my own kitchen. It won’t teach me more, and it’ll taste just as good. This means most pasta is out, steak is definitely not worth it, a lot of stir fries, chicken, and pan-fried fish. This rule is actually pretty convenient, as it eliminates a decent amount of the menu from my consideration, giving me time to focus on the more interesting dishes. Two of the things I look for are techniques that I don’t know or that would take a long time to cook (like lasagna or quiche, which take a long time to prepare and bake), and ingredients that are exotic or to which I have limited access (like some kinds of seafood or fruits). This way I’m guaranteed to get something I probably won’t be making at home, so it’ll be new and interesting to me, which is why I go out.

The other thing I do at restaurants is look at the presentation of the dish. They always clean the edge of the plate. There’s often parsley flakes sprinkled on top to give the dish flecks of color. The fancier the restaurant, the more vertical the food will get. So if you’re going to Denny’s, you’ll have a plate with meat and mashed potatoes next to it and corn next to that, and the whole plate will be covered with some kind of food. If you’re at a fancy restaurant, you’ll have a wide plate, but the food itself will cover a smaller area and be stacked, so the meat would be on top of the asparagus on top of the mashed potatoes. Then some kind of sauce is artfully painted around the unused portion of the plate. And the plate is always wiped clean after the food has been placed on it.

A successful restaurant venture leaves my stomach happy, my tongue intrigued, and my brain full of good ideas to try.

We Win Again!

Last night was our third win in softball. I don’t know how many times we’ve lost, but that’s not important. What is important is that we’ve gotten a lot better as a team and we’re happy with ourselves, and last night was our chance to prove it. In our first game of softball we got stomped about 20-5. I’m not sure if that’s the exact score or not, but we were royally whipped. Last night we played them again. We played a tight game, catching what we were supposed to, making our throws, getting on base, etc. I didn’t do anything spectacular during the game. I scored a couple times, hit a couple base hits, caught some pop flies, the usual stuff. But what was really cool was that we were able to play such a solid game and hold them back while we continued to score. In the end, we won 13-9, and we were very happy pirates.

I created a monster

Necessity is the mother of invention, and I was in serious need of food. My problem, though, was that I had hot dog buns but no hot dogs, and hamburger but no hamburger buns. May god have mercy on my soul for what transpired in my kitchen today at lunch, for what I bred was neither encased hot dog, nor round hamburger, but instead a beast of a meal fit only for the likes of those willing enough to put their life on the line in pursuit of the perfect meal.

Today I made the hamburger dog. Instead of making round hamburger patties I carefully fashioned crude oblong patties, holding a hot dog bun beside them to make sure they were of an appropriate size. They were as thick as a normal hamburger, 1/2 inch of pure beefy goodness, but as long as the bun. My George Foreman steamed and sizzled as it struggled to cook the strange shaped patties. At once, I smelled the burning flesh and knew that it was done. The socket sparked as I unplugged the grill. I had prepared my bun in the manner of a typical hamburger: sliced tomato, sweet relish, ketchup, and mustard. Once I placed the finished patties on the buns, my creation was complete.

If you have not yet recoiled in shock and awe, then the completion of my tale should not disturb you further. After I had built these monsters (there was a pair of them because I was hungry, remember), I poured a glass of cold tea, sat down, lifted one of them, and took a bite. What followed thereafter is hazy in my mind. When I came to my senses my plate was empty, my stomach full, and my napkin messy. I can only assume that I devoured them both in a frenzy, leaving nothing but a few flecks of relish on the plate.

Thank you, dear reader, for stomaching this entry as heartily as I stomached the monsters I made for lunch. If you have the inclination, the fortitude, and the equipment, I highly recommend making the bastard child of barbecues; the hamburger dog.

Meringues

Meringues are hard but really soft cookies, like solidified marshmallows. The most appealing part of them is the texture. They only require 4 ingredients that you probably already have.

  • 4 egg whites (WHITES ONLY. ANY yolk will prevent the whites from whipping. Be very careful)
  • pinch of salt
  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/2 cup powdered sugar

In a large bowl, beat the egg whites and a pinch of salt until they are stiff. Very stiff. There is a remarkable transformation you’ll see when they turn frothy and then get harder and harder. This will take a few minutes of strong beating.

Beat in the granulated sugar, then sprinkle in the powdered sugar a little at a time. Keep beating until you get thick, white, foamy peaks. The more foamy the better. If you can take a teaspoon full and drop it on the counter and it doesn’t spread much but instead stays pretty tall, then you’re good.

Pour tablespoon full amounts onto a baking sheet. Try to drizzle them onto the sheet so that you get maximum height.

Bake in the oven at 250F for 1 1/2 hours. They’ll look slightly darker than when they started and will be very hard. Let them cool, then take them off the pan.

 

I didn’t die!!!

Today I can cross another thing of my list of things to do before death. Fortunately, it’s not a thing that I did RIGHT before death. It was awesome. I really can’t believe I let myself jump out of the plane. I was surprised I did it. The landing wasn’t perfect, but it I’m alive and well and nothing is broken, so I have nothing to complain about.

I’ll go into all the gory details in case you’re interested. Last night we had a few hours of training. Essentially, we watched some videos, with the jumpmaster pausing every once in a while to provide more detail, amend the video, and answer questions. I went to bed, but didn’t sleep well. In the morning, I woke at 5:30, and managed to convince myself to stay in bed for another hour before actually getting up. I timed myself making a full breakfast from scratch. I had 2 scrambled eggs, hash browns (from a real potato, not frozen), 3 sausages, and a glass of juice. 6 minutes from start to finish. The hash browns are what took the longest to cook. I wrote down all my passwords on a sticky note just in case, but it was surprisingly hard to do. I know all my passwords better by habit than knowing what they actually are. I couldn’t do some of them without trying them first on the keyboard.

We all arrived at the airport by 8, got in our jumpsuits, and got another hour of training. I was graced with a bright bright yellow suit. The jump order was exactly what I had hoped for. Ryan was jumping first, I was second, and Dave was third. We were in the first plane. Doug and Wendy showed up to take pictures and watch. We got in the plane and strapped in. We were facing backwards and sitting on the floor. There was only one seat for the pilot; the rest was padded floor. The neat thing about facing backwards was that I could watch as we took off and climbed, and I could see outside the window easily. It was a great view. I picked out features I knew, made sure I saw the drop zone, and enjoyed the ride.

After we took off, we essentially made a big circle as we climbed to 3500 feet. As we approached the airport again, the jumpmaster opened the door, and cool air immediately swirled in. It was remarkable how clearly I could see the ground from the air, which made sense because there was just air. Ryan got up to the door, stuck his feet out and planted his hands in place. The jumpmaster told him to look at the wing and jump. After some hesitation, he dropped out of sight. The door closed and we looked for him. His chute had opened fine and he was doing well.

We were flying what is called an IAD, or Instructor Assisted Deployment. This means that the instructor is holding the first chute in his hand and throws it out when you jump. The first chute catches the air and pulls the main chute out, so you are in free fall for only a short period of time before the chute is fully opened. Ryan’s worked perfectly. As we watched him prepare for landing, though, it didn’t look so successful. He seemed to be way closer to the runway than the field, and as we watched the shadow catch up to the parachute, we could see it was going to be bad. Of course, we were about a mile away from him, so we didn’t know for sure. It turned out that he had glanced off a suburban and landed on his feet just fine. He wasn’t hurt, and the suburban was only slightly damaged, but it wasn’t enough to deter him from going up a second time later.

The timing of it worked out that as one person jumps the plane describes a big circle, and almost as soon as the jumper lands, the plane is in position for the next jumper. It was my turn. I put my feet outside the plane and my hands in position. My head couldn’t believe that I was about to do this, and when the jumpmaster told me to look at the wing and jump, I paused for a second thinking maybe I wouldn’t. Then the more assertive and exciting part of me kicked my own butt and I jumped out. I don’t exactly remember the first few milliseconds. As soon as I was aware, I was trying to kick a little, which is wrong, so I forced myself to assume the arch position we had been taught. Then I realized I hadn’t been counting, which is also wrong, so I picked up at about 3, figuring that to be about where I was in the count. Then I felt the chute deploy. I waited a second, then looked up to make sure everything was correct. I was flying with a 9-celled square student’s chute. Amazingly, all my cells had inflated properly, and I was in full control of the chute. The radio rubber-banded to my chest strap buzzed to life as the guy on the ground told me to gain control of the chute and start turning. I did as he told me, confirming that I could hear him just fine. He continued to give me instruction as I descended, all the while watching the scenery, the drop zone, everything I could get my eyes on. It was great fun.

As I was preparing to land, I saw that I was going to make the field, and I was glad of that. I knew that at about 15 feet I was supposed to flare, which would stop my forward motion and I would be able to land on my feet, but I was also watching the guy on the ground giving me instructions. He was supposed to put his hands down when I was supposed to flare. I kept watching him, not seeing how close I was to the ground, but he kept his hands up. I quickly decided that he was never going to put his hands down, so at the last possible second I did, but it wasn’t enough. I also made the mistake of lifting my legs, which is also wrong, so I landed squarely on my butt and slid for a bit. It was a little painful for a while, but I quickly recovered, glad that I was at least safe on the ground, and only a few yards from bullseye.

You’ll notice I made quite a few mistakes on my way down, and I was well aware of them immediately after I had done them, but it wasn’t catastrophic at all, and the next time I jump I’m sure I’ll do a lot better. This is really a testament to the safety of the sport now. If I could screw up as much as I did and still be totally fine, then it should be no problem for anybody else.

That said, let me regale you with the excitement that was Dave’s landing. As he descended his final feet, he seemed to be doing the opposite of what the guy on the radio was telling him, and doing it to the extreme. He lost a lot of altitude while he was screwing around, and there was no way he was going to make it to the field. In fact, he ended up on the tarmac 100 yards from where he was supposed to. From our vantage on the field, it looked like he had either hit a plane, a fence, or a building. In fact, he was fine, but it was probably not Wendy’s best experience, seeing her husband drop out of the sky far from where he should.

For the next plane, two other people went up, and Ryan decided to go again, too. There was a different person on the radio on the ground, and he managed to bring everyone on to the field with great landings. This time I took pictures, which we’ll be sending to the other people who jumped. When I got home I took great enjoyment in burning the postit with my passwords. It really made me realize that I was home and everything was ok.

So to summarize, I had a great time. I’m glad I did it, it seems really safe even after all the silly mistakes we made, and it’s definitely worth doing.

In case I die…

Don’t touch my stuff. It’s booby trapped.

I’m kidding. Nothing is booby trapped, and I hope those in charge of taking care of my estate will give it to those who need it.

I will be skydiving tomorrow morning. Yes, I will be resisting a natural urge bred for millions of years and firmly ingrained into our very nature, and jumping out of a plane perfectly capable of landing safely on its own.

The truth is that I was running a much higher risk driving down to Corvallis than I will be tomorrow morning. It will essentially be a static line dive; as soon as I jump the chute gets pulled, so my time in freefall is in the milliseconds. I will have a reserve chute in case something goes wrong. I will have had hours of training. There will be a radio in my helmet with a guy on the ground giving me very explicit instructions the whole way down. If the radio fails he will have very large signs. The jumpmaster has had thousands of jumps. The scariest part was probably signing the waiver where it says “I understand that I will be jumping out of an airplane, which can be dangerous and kill or injure you.”

But my gut doesn’t care what the truth is, and my brain is still wondering what compelled me to decide to jump out of a plane. Tomorrow I plan to have fun and be safe. I just hope that by tomorrow afternoon I’m still having fun and being safe.

Rrrrrr!!!

I had a softball game today, and some interesting things happened that are worth noting. First, it was raining. It wasn’t enough to put us off, and it was just enough to keep us cool. In all, the rain was pleasant, though it did make handling the ball a little interesting.

Second, I was wearing a baseball cap. This is very atypical of me; I only have one cap and it’s too small. But it’s what I had, and I’d rather put up with the tightness than have drops collect on my scalp and tickle me as they collect and ooze down my skin. Sometimes it gets annoying having such short hair.

Third, we had a remarkable amount of team spirit throughout the game. Our team name is the Plutonium Pirates, so we were yelling Rrrrrrr!!! a lot. It was quite fun. We also played a good game. For a while we were up by 7. Then in the last two innings they made it all up and then some, so we ended up losing, but not by much.

I managed to score, but not without taking some damage. I was running home, and I probably shouldn’t have, because the ball got to the catcher way earlier than I expected. It was too late to turn around, so I just bullied right through him. I ended up very dirty, and likely will be bruised tomorrow, but the ball ended up outside of the catcher’s mitt, so I had successfully scored.

We have a new player, Julia, who joined this week. Unfortunately, the other team didn’t have enough females, so we loaned her out to them for the game. Well, the real unfortunate part is that I had to pitch to her. No, I’m wrong. There was nothing wrong with pitching to her. In fact, it was great. She’s not the kind of batter who waits for me to throw 15 times before finally getting a pitch she likes. That drives me nuts, and throws me off. No, she swung on the first pitch, which surprised the heck out of me because she said she hadn’t played since elementary school, and connected well, which surprised me even more, and hit it straight to me. And I caught it. Twice. So I guess the REAL unfortunate part was that I was responsible for getting her out twice. It was already odd that she was on the other team. And I had to get her out. Here’s hoping she won’t hold a grudge. I suspect, though, that she’s the kind of person who would hold a grudge if I had been soft on her.

Anyway, it was a pleasant game, and everybody was happy and friendly, and even though we lost we still had a good time.

I have no mouse!

The batteries died on my mouse, and I have no more double AAs in the apartment. The odd thing is that it’s not really slowing me down much. Sure, you realize how annoying web sites are when you try to navigate, but other than that, it’s not so bad. Next I think I’ll try taking the batteries out of my keyboard and see if I can control my computer telepathically.

If you’re wondering why I have a cordless keyboard and mouse, let me tell you that in my situation it actually makes a lot of sense. Since my projector is hooked up to my computer, I can sit on my couch and have access to my computer. So I can just pick up my keyboard and mouse and move over to the coffee table and it all works.

Well, it works until the batteries die.

Vegas

This weekend I went to Las Vegas for the first time. The following is my account of the experience, in as close to chronological order as possible.

Thursday, 6/22/06
I left work a few hours early to go over to Carolyn’s lab. She was putting samples through an X-ray crystallography machine, and I got to help her prepare the samples. Admittedly, it’s not a particularly glamorous job, and if one had to do it over and over again, it could easily become boring, but I still felt like Watson and Crick doing work on the structure of DNA (in this case it was analyzing samples for parts of a fuel cell, though).

I went home and had some lunch before Nick and Carolyn picked me up to head to Nick’s house. From there, Nick’s parents drove six of us to the airport: Nick, Carolyn, Doug, Naomi (Doug’s wife), Cassandra, and me. Cassandra was along for the ride because she was heading to New York and her flight was leaving about when ours was. Once we got through the ticket line and the security line, we settled in for a couple hours of waiting. We had a game of Wizard to pass the time.

Eventually, we got on the flight, and it was a quick and easy 2 hour jaunt to Vegas. I was in the back of the plane, though, and the windows were obstructed by the engines. We landed, picked up luggage, and headed out to the taxis. I’m glad I packed all of my stuff into one carry-on bag. We dropped off Nick and Carolyn at Harrah’s so they could pick up our tickets for the comedy club, and Doug, Naomi and I got to our hotel (Paris), and checked in and dropped off all the bags. Then we walked to Harrah’s quickly, grabbed a quick bite to eat (a mammoth chicken burrito), and rushed to the comedy club. It was a very tight schedule thanks to the delayed flight, but we made it.

The comedy club was fun. There were two comedians and a host, and they were all funny. It was a good show. Afterwards, we started the walk back. At Margaritaville, we stopped for a drink. I have an uncanny ability to summon the beats of Michael Jackson to the minds of the DJ, and we weren’t there long before I ended up on the dance floor, instantly creating a circle for myself and eliciting the cheers of nearby dancers. Some people really appreciated my skills, because I had a total of $7 stuffed down my shirt, which was just about enough to pay for my drink. Still, I was the only one of my party willing to dance, and I hate dancing by myself, so I didn’t stay long. We made it back to Paris, got back to the room, and the second I sat on the bed my body decided that I was done for the night.

My first few hours in Vegas I was was stunned by the sheer magnitude of everything. There were so many buildings, all of them were huge, there were so many people, there were so many employees, so many advertisements, so many people on the streets handing out advertisements for escorts, so many beautiful people. I immediately felt very poor and very insignificant. There’s a lot of money in Vegas, and a lot of people.

Friday, 6/23/06
We start off bright and early. I got a call from Antonio saying he found some money for me to do InfoStar at SC06, which was good news. We then went downstairs for breakfast, but were intimidated by the lines, so we made our way over to the Bellagio, where we found lines just as long. We ate there anyway, and I had a tasty crab omelette. Afterwards we toured a gorgeous glass store. Then we crossed the street and went into Bally’s, trying to find the monorail. This was when I first noticed how frustrating casinos are. They have signs to bring you into the casino, but then they dump you there, and it’s impossible to figure out how to get out. We were moderately successful, but it still took us 10 minutes to get through the casino and all of the shops to the back of the establishment and find the monorail. We took the monorail from Bally’s down to MGM Grand, in which we saw a pair of live lions. Then we went over to Excalibur. Our mission was an infamous Krispy Kreme, where we enjoyed a fresh Krispy Kreme donut. Honestly, though, it just tasted like a donut, not the ecstasy laced oral orgasm everyone makes Krispy Kreme out to be. Still, I participated in everyone else’s enjoyment.

Next we walked through the Luxor, where I got to see the inside of the amazing pyramid. When you look up inside the building, it is truly amazing how large it is. When you look horizontally, you feel cramped. That’s the next thing I noticed about casinos: for as large as they are, they feel really cramped. Maybe it’s because I’m countrified and I’m used to windows and sunlight and being able to have space, but these casinos are completely packed with things. The ceilings are never white. They range from paintings of blue sky and clouds to ornate gold decorations, to painted black ductwork, but windows don’t exist. Even exits are hard to find. Every step there is some machine or person waiting to take your money. And every detail of every casino is so immaculately planned and engineered so that it’s all absolutely perfect and streamlined. Remarkable.

After the Luxor, we made our way to Mandalay Bay, where we found the Shark Reef, and toured that. They gave us electronic tour guides like cell phones that dictated a short description when the appropriate number was dialed. Mine went quickly to my pocket and remained there after hearing the first couple speeches. The exhibit was entertaining, and I saw many different fish and sharks. They even had petting of some stingrays. The sharks were being fed at the time, so there was a veritable frenzy in the tank.

Afterwards, we took the tram to Excalibur and walked over to the M&M store. Unfortunately, a burst pipe on the second floor made that area inaccessible. The second floor had all the bins of different colors, so we were very disappointed. Overcoming our grief, we headed to New York. We found the roller coaster and got tickets. There was almost no wait, which was nice. The coaster was fun. It had a loop, a twist, a few drops; all the elements one expects from a coaster. At the first drop I was uncomfortable, but then I realized what a coaster is like, and I enjoyed the rest of the ride. On the way out, we had to pass through an arcade. We saw a DDR machine and Carolyn wanted to see me on it. I didn’t recognize any of the songs, but I still picked hard ones. I know that at my peak I would have had no problem with them. I can still see the screen right and process the arrows in my head right, but my connection to my legs was slower. I felt like I was moving through slush, and I didn’t do nearly well as I wanted. It was still enough to impress the people there, but not me.

We wandered back to the hotel and took a small break in our rooms. We had done all this before 1, so we were a little tired from all the walking. About 4 we headed down to the Paris Buffet. It was everything you’ve ever heard about a Vegas buffet; tons of food of all kinds. It wasn’t the best quality food I’ve had, but it was a buffet, and some of it was very tasty. I had quite a bit of food, and a few desserts.

Next was a lengthy walk to the Venetian for Blue Man Group. The tickets for the show were $126, but they were worth every penny. It was absolutely amazing. The music was great, the audience participation was fun, the acts were entertaining and creative, and the technology they used was just, wow. What a great show.

After the Blue Man Group, we got in a taxi for the Stratosphere. All of the things you hear about Vegas are true: the hotels force you to go through casinos and shopping areas, it may only be a block but you’re better off taking a taxi than walking, taxi drivers are crazy, and you spend a lot of time standing in line to get somewhere where you stand in line. We did eventually make it to the top of the Stratosphere, and it was a great view. Then we headed up to the Big Shot, which propels you up at 4Gs to the very top of the structure. That was a fun ride. Then we did Insanity, which has an arm that swings you out over the street and then spins you around so that you are essentially horizontal facing straight down 1000 feet and spinning around. That was awesome. Finally, we tried the XScream, which was a bit like a slide that ended looking down on the street. Of course, the car was stopped before it left the track, but it was still a rush.

We took another taxi back to Paris. Doug and I went down to the craps table, and I was introduced to the madness that is craps. There are so many rules, and I struggled to understand just a few of them. I started with $50 and played with it for 3 hours. At one point I was up $120, and I put my original $50 in my pocket and played with just the earnings. Eventually the table soured and I left with my original $50, a few free drinks in my belly, and many strange feelings.

I can honestly say that I don’t much like gambling. When I was playing, time stopped. The three hours could have been 3 days or 3 minutes. I wasn’t really happy when I was playing. I knew in my brain that past results don’t affect future outcomes, and yet in the absence of information about the future I was relying on the trends as my only source of information about when to bet. It really made no sense at all, and it was exactly what everyone else does, only I was keenly aware of it at the same time. In the end, Doug and I walked away at 3:30 am with exactly as much money as we had at 12:30 am, only more tired.

Saturday, 6/24/06
Saturday morning I was up bright and early and ready to go, despite the late night. We started off downstairs with some crepes. Afterwards we took a cab to an indoor skydiving place. We managed to get there just in time for the next session, so we didn’t have to wait at all. We went through a class and instructional video, then donned our gear: a baggy suit, ear plugs, goggles, a helmet with facemask, and gloves. The group of about 13 was split into two groups, with Doug, Nick, Naomi, and me together in the second group. We watched the first group go into the room. It’s about 20′ in diameter, with padding along the sides between the windows, and padding along the outer 3′. The chamber extended up about 20′. The main floor was a wire mesh, with another wire mesh a few feet below that, and a huge spinning fan below that. First people started in the center in the correct position, and the fan speed increased until they were airborn. The instructor stood in the middle and kept the person stable. After a while, the next person in the group did the same thing. Then they tried jumping into the middle from the outside. Sometimes people would jump too hard and be propelled to the other side. Other times they didn’t jump hard enough and would be pushed backwards. It looked very difficult to control.

The first group left and we went in. The first thing we all noticed was the heat. Of course, right after we noticed it, we said a collective ‘duh’ because we were in a chamber with a huge engine and no possible way to vent it or have air conditioning. We started off the party inside, and it was fun. I quickly figured out how to move around and try to stay stable, but I wasn’t without errors, and the instructor had to correct me. It was great, though. Everyone seemed to do ok. I was able to fly for what seemed like a long time, though in retrospect it was probably just a few seconds. I figured out how to turn in midair, and was able to get about 180 degrees before the instructor politely but firmly arrested my merrymaking. In the end, we jumped in and he flipped us on our backs for a few seconds of backwards flight. The whole thing was very fun, and well worth the $55. Carolyn didn’t do it, so she took lots of video of us in there.

After the flying, we took a cab to Ceaser’s, where we went shopping. The girls split off to shop and the guys went to do their thing. Naturally we stopped in a toy store and explored that for a bit, with Nick and Doug eventually buying stuffed animals. Then we went to an exotic car show. We were a little disappointed that there were only about 25 cars there. It wasn’t really worth the $5 admission. They were some neat cars, though. What was most funny was that there were about 5 salesmen there sitting around and chatting. I don’t know why they would have 5 salesmen there when they only expected to sell MAYBE a couple cars a month.

On the way out of the show, we saw one of the famous automated shows in the thoroughfare of the shops. Fire and robotic people and water and lights. It was mildly entertaining. We were right next to the Cheesecake factory, so the three of us took the opportunity to get a snack. I got key lime cheesecake, Nick got raspberry, and Doug got chocolate coconut. Three very good pieces of cake. Many people watched us eat the pie as they walked by us. Yummy.

We ran into Naomi and Carolyn later and stopped for a quick drink and rest. My knee was killing me, so it was a welcome stop. Eventually the fountain we were sitting by turned into a show and we watched it for a bit before getting bored and moving on. We made our way through the maze that was Caesar’s casino and eventually found the exit and taxi line. We took a taxi to the Bellagio, which was technically next door, but these things are so big that it was still a $10 fare just to get there. Everyone wanted to see the Ansel Adams exhibit there. I had seen it already in Montana, so I passed. I wandered around the casino for a while. Eventually I settled at some video poker, where I promptly lost a few dollars. I got up and wandered some more, stopping again at a machine; this time it was slots. I put in a dollar and made five. One more video poker stop for a loss of a dollar and I was thoroughly bored with video machines. There’s no way I could sit in front of one of those things with a cigarette and drink and keep pressing the button for hours. What a waste of time and money. Eventually I headed back to the entrance to the exhibit and found a seat. The exhibit was conveniently close to the pool entrance, so I got to watch people for a good half hour. While there were certainly some attractive people, there were a lot more average and older people that made the people-watching more ‘interesting’ than ‘exciting.’ After they finished the exhibit, they stopped next door for a snack, but I was content to stay where I was watching people. On our way out of the casino, we managed to see the last part of the water show in front. It was indeed impressive.

We went back to Paris and changed into our fancy clothes for dinner. We headed out to the Venetian, taking the monorail and walking through a few casinos. We were in a bit of a rush, and the casino signs were very little help, so it was a close call. We made it to the restaurant with 2 minutes to spare before our reservation. They had us wait in the lounge, where I ordered an $8 rum and coke. The restaurant was Delmonico’s, and it was owned by Emeril Lagasse, so it was a pretty ritzy place. Eventually we were seated and presented with the menu. I ordered an appetizer of bruschetta with a diced tomato topping. It was pretty tasty, but I had actually made something similar last week, so I was a little underwhelmed. Next we ordered our main courses. I ordered a salad with strawberries and toasted pecans which was really tasty. Nick and Carolyn had a Caeser salad prepared tableside. For our main course, both Nick and Carolyn and Doug and Naomi split a steak with risotto. I had pork chops with bacon-wrapped shrimp and sweet potatoes in a kind of wine sauce. I also ordered a side of a variety of garlic roasted mushrooms and a Riesling. My meal was amazing. I enjoyed every bite of it. It was very tasty. The others were not so fortunate. Carolyn was disappointed in the risotto, which was undercooked, and Nick was frustrated with the amount of fat in his steak. After the meal, Doug ordered a dessert of angel food cake and strawberries, and we all tried it. It was tasty indeed. In the end, they split up the bill appropriately for us. My part alone was $95. It was not a cheap meal at all, but it was very good, and it made me feel much better about my own cooking. I’ve been taking pictures lately of my meals, and it’s forced me to work on my presentation a lot more, so I’m noticing it more when I go out to eat. The first thing I noticed about the restaurant dishes were that they were white but had marks along the edge like they had been used and abused a lot. It really hurt the presentation, but made me realize that the stuff I’m preparing could be in a fancy restaurant like Emeril’s and people would enjoy it and be happy to pay a lot for it.

After dinner we made our way over to the Wynn hotel. It’s an amazing building. I was very impressed with the marble floor, which was gorgeous and smooth. They had some cool waterfalls outside. There was also a restaurant visible as we walked by that overlooked a pond. But when we walked by, there was a show, and the pond was lit from above by a projector. It shifted the colors in a fluid way so that it looked like a pool of soft lava, or a pool of greens and blues, and it kept changing between vivid colors in flowing patterns. It was a very neat effect.

We got to our destination just before the doors opened to let people in. We were there to see the show Le Reve. We walked in and found our seats. The whole theater was circular, with each seat a foot below the one in front of it, so it rose quickly. In the center was a huge pool of water, with three channels extending out to the edge of the theater. Overhead was a huge hemisphere with an opening in the center that extended far up. Half an hour before the show there was some entertainment as people appeared in the water and did some comic relief. Eventually the show did start, and it was amazing. There were so many cool scenes with so many technical aspects, so many things to watch, so much choreography. The story was simply a woman falls asleep and appears in a bunch of different dreams, then eventually wakes up. The dreams, though, were breathtaking, and I found myself with an open jaw for much of the show. People would descend from the ceiling on harnesses, spinning, moving up and down, moving inside contraptions, diving into the water. People came in from underneath the water, and from the three outer entrances. The set was constantly changing, and there were times when the performers were walking on solid ground and then it would go under water, and then a huge platform would rise out of nowhere. The whole thing was spectacular. I couldn’t give it enough praise.

After the show we headed back to the hotel. Doug and I met and headed back downstairs to the craps table. We picked the only one available, and it was a bad table. The man next to me was chain smoking, so that wasn’t fun. And the table wasn’t treating me nicely. In the end, I lost $100. I felt all the desparation of a man who just wants to pull out another hundred and make back what he lost. All of the frustration of having gotten so many bad rolls. And all of the guilt and irresponsibility of having pissed away $100 that could have gone to so many more worthy causes. Gambling really isn’t any fun, and I can’t justify it. I don’t think I’m going to do it any more. Doug also lost $100, but when I left, he was pulling out his wallet for some more.

Sunday, 6/25/06
We were out of the room by 10. We headed down to the main floor to have breakfast. I had cheese blintzes with berries on top. Good stuff. Doug and Naomi went to the Bellagio to try to get their picture in front of the fountain. I went with Nick and Carolyn to Aladdin to wander around the shops. Doug and Naomi caught up with us and we continued around the stores. Then we gambled a bit at the machines. Afterwards, we went back to Paris and Nick and Carolyn did really the only gambling they had done all weekend. Both lost $20 playing video poker. They ended up killing exactly as much time as we needed, because as soon as they lost their money, it was noon; time to pick up our bags and head to the airport.

The taxi back to the airport was uneventful. We got in line to get our tickets, then waited in line to get through security. By the time we got through, we had an hour before our flight, so we went to find food. At about boarding time we all met at the gate, but it turned out that one piece required some maintenance, so the flight was delayed an hour. We used the time to play a game of Wizard, and I got probably the highest score I’ve ever gotten in the game. The flight back was another 2 hours, and I tried to sleep, but was thwarted by the kid in front of me who kept leaning back and bouncing against his seat. Since I’m a tall guy, my knees were touching the back of the seat, so every move he made rippled through the seat and into my knees. Not fun. He was playing 20 questions with the people in the next seat, and had no concept of narrowing down the possibilities, so he drove me nuts with 20 random questions that got him no closer to the right answer. grrr.

We landed Nick’s dad picked us up at the airport. Then we headed back to Nick’s house to pick up the cars. I rode with Doug and Naomi back to my apartment, where they dropped me. That was it. I made it home safely.

Conclusions
I had a great time on the trip. I definitely accomplished some of those “things you must do before you die,” so it was worth it in that respect. I’d never been to Vegas before, so there were a lot of new things to take in. Everything I’d heard from people or seen on TV about Vegas is true. Everything is huge. There’s tons of money there. The casinos are designed thoroughly, they’re gorgeous, they make sure you walk through the casino and stores as much as possible and hide the exits. There are thousands of people who are all exactly like you, and to everyone who lives in Vegas you’re just a source of revenue to them. It was a very humbling experience, as I got to see an entire world of big money that I don’t have access to and probably never will, and I got to be in a position of a little fish in a huge pond, which has never suited me.

Everything we did was amazing. The shows, the food, the rides, it was all really cool. I spent probably close to $1000 in all for the weekend, but honestly, I think it was worth it, and I will likely return to Vegas some time in the future.